So my posts are normally about the side of me that feels liberated, happy & free here. I typically don’t think you want to read about the things that SUCK! The last time I wrote about something that sucked … WHOA, got really bad feedback & I went into major guilt (colpa) mode. For all of you who don’t know me deep, this is the American Italian Catholic role I have mastered in my life. I say, “American Italian Catholic” because I am not sure IF this guilt is taught here. I am however trying to break this cycle in my life now. Wish me luck (fortuna).

Anyway, while sitting at the sea, alone & watching the waves I realized how HUGE it is that I live in Italy & I get to go to The Mediterranean Sea almost (quasi) everyday. What a gift in my life. For this I am grateful & I feel blessed & then there is the flip side … the huge HOLE I feel in me. The incompleteness. Italy gives you space & when you are alone you have time to think and for me this is a hazard to my health (salute).

So for the 3 hours I sat at the sea I composed a list of 10 things I suck at but there is some good news to this list. There were 11 things but after 3 hours I was able to scratch off skipping stones. I taught myself how to do it & now I don’t suck at that anymore.

I’m thinking maybe there is hope for me in some of these areas but some may take more than 3 hours.

I want it ALL Today & if my Tomorrow is TODAY … Shouldn’t I have this all NOW?

1. I can’t play the piano & I took lessons. Maybe this sucks MORE for my parents because I took every lesson known to man.
2. I never finish anything & I reminded of it ALL the time. Thank you very little.
3. I afraid of being vulnerable. This sucks because we all need people but every time I am I let someone in … well … 
4. I suck at applying make-up. All my girlfriends do it so well & I look like a clown when I do it.  So now I don’t! Yet, I buy the make-up anyway. I never want to miss out on the fun.
5. A cartwheel … TOTALLY Suck! I have never done one because I always feared I would break my neck. Funny how “S”tupid & “S”ucks … both start with “S”.
6. I suck at being patient because I want it ALL now! We may not have tomorrow.
7. I really suck at taking compliments. My first instinct is to dismiss it.
8. I suck at Italian but I am trying yet the few people I know speak English with me. I need an Italian roommate! Throw me into the fire & watch me burn or become fluent.
9. Saying good-bye.  Enough said!
10. Rejection … doing it and or accepting it. We all want to be accepted in this world & we all need a safe place to fall or land.

I think my day is complete. Self reflection – check. Learned to Skip Stones – check. Wrote a new blog post – check. Going for fun … good … love & taking no prisoners … ooooooh watch out Tuscany – check. Tomorrow is definitely TODAY!